Seriously, I never believed this post would be possible–what with the fact I was convinced long ago that I’d be dead. Yup, 2 1/2 years ago, I was told that the disease ravaging my lungs would guaranty a dirt nap–in short order. Ha Ha! Foolie on me!! Obviously, ya just can’t trust doctors.
That said, I’d like to take this opportunity to thank the entire “Medical Community” for the past 30 months filled with nightmares around the “death scenario” (how would it happen, is this “It”, will I live to see another World Series, is this my final meeting with a particular special person, how can I plan for ANYTHING? etc.).
At this point, you’d imagine I would be filled with gratitude for all this “bonus time”. Hard to explain, but my prevailing thought/emotion instead, is a deep-seated impression of being CHEATED!! Apparently, someone forgot to tell me, in the early going, that my disease is one that could have a 15-20 year duration. If knowledge of that possibility was clearly stated up- front, I would have made some significantly different choices since being diagnosed. Hell, there is a chance, even, that my former girlfriend might not have “bailed” on me (out of fear of watching me slowly wither, suffer, and die!).
On the “gratitude” end, I am thankful for being able to see long-lost friends at my 40th class reunion, to have cherished time with my closest friends, to have experienced a few great recently released movies, to jump with joy, while witnessing some great athletic performances, to have my ears anointed with some of the greatest recordings ever…all of which I would have missed without the extra time I’ve been blessed with.
I am also grateful for my “new” friends and relationships cemented by my recent involvement at Seaside Church, here in Bremerton. These new acquaintances have shown me compassion, and a depth of care– long missing from my life. They have also demonstrated that being a “Christian” is not an empty, meaningless expression of pseudo-faith. Instead, I have been witness to families and individuals that Jesus himself has to be proud of. Their expressions of love have been nothing short of astounding.
My fears tonite, for the coming year, generally aren’t really centered on my still-present health threat. Instead, the trepidation I feel is for our planet, and in particular, for our beloved U S of A. Never before in my life have I known such a deep despair as I survey the economic, ecological, and political landscapes.
We are being systematically destroyed by corporations hell-bent on ignoring Mother Natures warnings in regard to our fragile environment. All I see is a steamroller of “developments” that totaqlly give no regard to the ultimate destruction they are leaving in their wake. Pollution=Profits–and the gentle Earth be damned!
Our so-called leaders and elected officials have only their re-elections and contributors to consider:TO HELL with the voters who depend on them to supposedly make decisions on our behalf. The lies assaulting our common sense grow deeper each day-we seemingly can believe no one in office. As Wall Street continues to dictate our national policy, we are facing insurmountable deficits that seemingly doom our children and grandchildren to a life with very little in the way of hope.
Perhaps the scariest scene on the horizon is the instability of several governments across the globe. I refer to those that have no regard for the sanctity of “life”, or the basic right of every human to have a reasonable chance of prosperity–or, at the the very least, a fair shot at survival with dignity. The sheer numbers of those with the desire to engage their enemies with both chemical and nuclear weaponry should numb the soul and mind of anyone with any awareness of the current climate. These despots should become the primary objective for removal- if we are to at least have a chance at a peaceful tomorrow.
Thanks to all who make still drawing breath an exhilarating act, I am so blessed to have you in my life…. I pray we get to “do this” again… in 364 nites.
Happy New Year for my friends– I love you dearly–thanks for enriching my life!