Told ya yesterday that something would soon piss me off. It happened–today, at the grocery store…
I can’t be the lone protester on today’s reason for being irritated. What has chapped my thick hide this time, are those way-too-small-to-read stickers found on EVERY piece of fruit (and most veggies) I purchase at my local grocery. Not only do I need reading glasses to decipher the writing, but, it has occurred to me that those pesky obstacles to fine dining, are using up a countless number of perfectly good trees-in addition to exposing my delicate palate to whatever chemicals comprise printing ink! (I point the ink issue out, because as we all know, the most effective method of removing the offending sticker, is to rip it off with your teeth becasue nobody has strong enough fingers, or long enoug nails– to liberate the sticker from the fuit!!) I would also submit that whatever compounds make up the “sticky glue”, holding the stickers in place, would suffice to bond most major automotive components! With the recent release of the produce “Dirty Dozen”-identifying, for all consumers, those varieties of produce containing the highest concentration of pesticides and poisons (ostensibly to “protect us” from critters and other unpleasantries entering our bodies when we “fuel-up” our tummies).
My belief is that the stickers are part of a major conspiracy, foisted on an unsuspecting public, by produce wholesalers. Yup. Since removing these annoyances generally rips a hole in the fruit (leading to quick spoilage-and an entry point for more contaminants lurking on your counter, plate, or hands)-end result: having to purchase replacement fruit=increased volumes sold for vendors.
See. I told ya something would piss me off…little did I realize I would uncover a brand new CONSUMER CONSPIRACY!! You’re welcome.